Ravi ki duniya

Ravi ki duniya

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Humor: M.A. in Puja Science


 

 

       During our school days we had a subject called ‘Dharma’. It was a thin simple book with simpler syllabus. In a way, only basic knowledge of all the major religions of the world was imparted with no bias whatsoever. Largely, it was information based i.e. Who was the founder, The Holy Book and principal teachings. Since then, lot of water full of hazardous chemicals mixed with sewer water has flown in the Ganges. Latest is, a prominent University in India has launched a ‘Centre for Hindu Studies’. The various courses and minimum eligibility criterion have been firmed up. Several Post-Graduate and Diploma courses have been introduced. Hitherto, we were taught that Hinduism is no religion rather it is a way of life. If that be so, I wonder why all these courses? But then of late, haven’t you seen hordes of books on parenting while people have been becoming parents, good or bad, since time immemorial.

 

             This ‘Hindu Study Centre’ is going to have courses such as M.A. in Hindu Studies, Post-Graduate Diploma in Temple Management (definitely needed, with temples of all shapes and sizes having been mushroomed, more on unauthorized land every half a kilometer. High time, these temples are managed professionally by the well-educated / trained professionals. I suggest, there must be M.A. (Keertan). Just imagine, how much knowledge is awaiting sincere seekers. We, in our ignorance thought Hinduism is all about Gayatri mantra and Laxmi Pooja. Now you would know that Hinduism is far deeper than one could fathom.  

 

                Just ponder, when you are a Diploma holder in Keertan science, how many Bhajans and their meaning you would be able to memorize. Many table games such as carrom, scrabble, chess karaoke Antakshari and crossword would be evolved based on the Keertans and mantras.

 

        Thank God! Mumbai has tiny temples in each house hold. Similarly, in office and business establishments of all varieties one may not find humans but deity would be there overseeing one and all. With all this, there will not be any dearth of opportunities for industrial attachments. Would there be any dress code for the students of these courses. Yes, another bigger question, would these courses be open for the students from all the four ‘varnas’? Would these courses open for students from other countries?  Could kids of high priests pay capitation fee and get admission out of turn? Admission to these courses would be through CUET? What would be the approx. Dakshina I mean fee? Tilak, choti and tonsured head would be compulsory for the students of these courses? The syllabus would include how to read holy books aloud? Would the course contain how to read and interpret faces/palm and moles on body? Would they be taught to predict what tragedy is going to befall upon devotees, ways and means to escape? Temple management would include what all ingredients are required to be placed and how, in a puja-thali. Which flower to which deity and flowers need to be carried in a thali or in a wooden basket? If a particular flower is not readily available which alternative flower could be considered congruent.  How to recycle coconut offered in a temple?

 

I am wondering whether these courses would dwell upon comparative factual checks vis-à-vis other faiths. For example, what is the Parsi, Buddhism, Christianity and Islamic view on a particular aspect / ritual / hypothesis. I hope it would not be hammered into the brains of the students that ‘Hinduism is The Best’ and all other sects / religions are inferior to Hinduism. No debate on that. Others are just a haphazard crowd of heretics.

              Some courses which would sell like hot cakes could be: Diploma in Puja-Ingredients (DPI), Diploma in Management of Commercial Activities around Mandir (DCAM) Diploma in Fast (Vrat) Management (DFM). Certificate course in Navratre (CIN) Diploma in Crowd Management (DCM) Certificate course in Dream Interpretation (CDI) Also, the prospectus should give some insight about the employment scope for the prospective students.

 

    I hope the students would have campus recruitment so that they don’t have to run temple to temple, armed with their C.V. begging for job like other Engineers / M.As / PhDs. Govt may launch some scheme viz. Asur-Sanharak to complete the pattern of 3As Aanganwadi, Agniveer & Asur-Sanharak. 

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