satire: One oath ceremony & its end of crime

 

    Our police have come out with a novel way to make society crime free. Hitherto, we have only seen society being made crime-free by liberally applying third degree and once in a while through ‘encounter’. However, crime is ever growing. Earlier also, this experiment was done by Netaji. 

 

    The police rounded up all the criminals who indulged in molestation, rape and other serious crimes against women. When the criminal is released or is out on parole/ bail, he may still be a threat to society. Around 100 such offenders were assembled at one place. They were administered a collective oath. Just like we, annually take oath of never taking bribe or of promoting Rajbhasha. We keep killing Ravana (evil) year after year, in the vain hope that one day Ravana will get killed. We keep swearing/ saying things on oath as routine in the fond hope that one day the repentance will sink in and we will give up all evil habits and lead peaceful crime free life. 

 

     Interestingly, earlier when this oath ceremony was held, the policemen took this oath under the leadership of their hon’ble Minister. Thereafter, the hon’ble minister announced from the rooftop that all those administered oath by him have promised to maintain impeccable honesty in their conduct.  

 

     Similarly, now criminals and gentlemen who have been convicted of heinous crimes like rape and assaulting women, have sworn that they will respect women and treat them like their own mother and sisters. They will always maintain a respectable distance from them. Thus, they will become virtuous in their thoughts, words and deeds. I don’t think! there ever was such a golden age in India. Just one oath ceremony and the police is reformed forever! Criminals too feel so secure and happy after oath. In fact, oath has lot of importance in our society. We are God fearing people or so we pretend. While testifying in court of law, we are on oath. Thereafter, we boldly record our lies. You see! oath is very important in the court of law. Affidavits on oath have to be given at every step.

 

    M.P., M.L.A., Ministers all take oath to serve the nation. Now the definition of ‘service’ may vary from individual to individual. To understand the concept of ‘service’ it is necessary to start from oneself. This way, if there is a flaw, it comes out, the flaw is detected in time. It is like scientists’ taste/consume a newly discovered medicine themselves to prove its efficacy.   Our maternal uncle ji when pursuing his B.Sc., he used to tell stories of his chemistry lab to us kids: “when a scientist decided to tell the world important property of potassium cyanide in terms of how it tastes, he tasted potassium cyanide with paper pen ready in one hand, he could only write S on paper and died instantly. The world could never know whether it was sweet/salty/sour? So, to this day, the secret of cyanide’s taste remains. (yes! mamaji would always call it KCN (chemical formula) To call it Potassium cyanide was left to we non-chemistry mortal students. For mamaji, a BSc scholar it always remained KCN.  Conclusion is ‘consumption’ is pre-requisite of service. 

 

     When it is said, so and so has sworn on oath, this means he has fulfilled the formality and now ready to take on the world and all worldly things world has to offer. Nowadays, political parties during their election campaign, distribute money to the voters, give 'Gangajal' (Holy Ganga water) to swear by.  To make sure they vote in their favour. The future of oath, swearing-in ceremonies is very bright. One oath and you are off-loaded of guilt, if any. See you in next oath ceremony.