satire: Noble Prize and poor me

 

Ever since I came of age, I have known the importance of prize in life. To this day, people use these awards/titles as their surname. British knew our mentality. They had introduced special titles for us such as Rai Bahadur, Khan Bahadur, Sardar Bahadur. If they (Indians) continued to ‘behave’ as they wanted, they would also be bestowed with Knighthood (Sir). What do we do now in post independent India? We introduced our own indigenous Padma Shri, Padma Bhushan, Padma Vibhushan and Bharat Ratna. Dadasaheb Phalke for the film people. Literature? What is that? Tell them to fend for themselves. Why do people look up to Govt for any and every small thing? They should be satisfied with the Sahitya Akademi of state/Centre. Sahitya Akademis - where more than literature, politics is prevalent. Fellowships are provided to followers. High time it is renamed ‘Followship’

 

In fact, in most cases these awards are best translated as Chamcha shri, Chamcha Bhushan and so on. Now in this kind of environment, which award is 'Worth'? There comes the award of awards, prize of prizes - Nobel Prize. This is the most prestigious/highest we have on earth.  May be later, we come across Prizes where nominations may be invited from other planets, kind of Miss Universe/Mr Universe. Although Miss Universe is a misnomer in the sense no other planet except earth is involved.   

 

I wonder, in case the Nobel Prize committee asks me for my bio data. What will I send them? I have no PR agency or lobbyist. The same agency will spread this news and make it viral. I realize, I ought not to make the mistake of asking this award for myself. Wise people learn from others’ mistakes. So, I have to stay away from the scene and not make myself 'available' to every paparazzi named Tom, Dick or Harry. I have to maintain a strange mist of 'mystery' around me. However, at the same time, has to keep a careful vigil as to who is active & where. Some sentences (statements) are to be by heartened. Also have to frequently keep repeating them. Mind it! Just have to talk of World Peace, Environment, Poverty, GDP, increase production. Agriculture sector needs to be revolutionized, discrimination, inequality to be abolished, Disarmament, elimination of terrorism etc. Slowly you will witness a movement will break out. Many people/NGOs will jump onto the bandwagon. A crowd will gather around you. Until then I have to remember some vital statistics and keep sprinkling here & there to the audience. From now on until the announcement of the Nobel Prize, I have to 'Think Global' and also ‘Act Global’ Asia, Africa, Democracy, Neighbouring Countries, US, UNO, besides ways and means to save humanity from terrorism. The atom bomb has to be destroyed. Further No one should be allowed to make/test atomic bombs. Elections should be held from time to time and yes, honestly. We have to save human beings from drought, flood, famine. Children's childhood has to be protected all over the world. They have to be protected from malnutrition. Education has to be given to everyone also masses should get medical treatment free of cost especially women and children. Yes, talking about women's rights, they have to be given equal status. Everywhere! Even in press conferences.

Wish Me Luck!!