ONE (SLIPPER) IS NOT ENOUGH

Legislative bodies have vital importance in a democracy. They have, if nothing else, immense educative value for all those who care. Hitherto, hurling shoes and slippers (S&S) was the prerogative of the legislators. Our legislators are our role models in more ways than one. We so very readily and eagerly adapted and in no time became well-versed in the art and science of S&S hurling. It is said, it’s Science if the results are same every time irrespective of time and place. A shoe hurled at Chidamabaram did hit the target right in bull’s eye and Tytler bit the dust. Kalmadi may lament and justifiably so, that why just one slipper, of what use is one, why not a pair. Had it been a pair, he could have sold and made some more money out of this ‘individual’ event. Now that is what I call sportsman spirit. He may still be feeling sad, for while it was for the entire World to watch Bush, Omar and Chidamabaram being hurled at costly and branded shoes, poor Kalmadi had to be contended with ‘cheap chappal’. Now this is what I call I to I (Insult to Injury).

A great feature of this Government OF the people and FOR the people is that people are at LIBERTY to curse, use and abuse each other. This is what is called EQUALITY and FRATERNITY, two great hallmarks in the evolution of mankind in human history. Anthropologists will tend to agree with me there. It is people’s right and duty both at the same time to curse and criticize, to use and abuse. What a novel concept called Democracy, Greeks gave us.Its various facets and nuances are still Greek to us. Whether shoe hurling is a science or art may remain debatable till the topic is shunned and shooed away by the ‘intellectuals’. Everyone agrees that Democracy is an art – art of hair splitting ‘splitocracy’. Keep splitting the trivia, so that people are kept busy and hence, off the scent from real issues. Kalmadi may still feel hurt... why just me… why not that Kill Bill Gill, not even She La and why spare that LG (not the tv brand). If you say it is a scam involving billions than each of billion plus citizens of India (NRIs included) have a right and sacred duty too, to not just ‘hurl’ but bash up with the slippers or shoes as the case may be. A nation of billion plus people and just one lone slipper, no sense of ratio-proportion at all. Are we that poor in Three Rs ( Reebok, Red Chief & Relaxo).

          We the people of India pride ourselves in being intellectuals.  Being intellectual is different than being man of intellect, while the latter are few and far between hence, needed to be protected and prodded like Himalayan Panda, the former are parasites that live off our ignorance and indifference.  Look at the poor guy!  Who started selling salted grams in post independent India.  We all pounced upon him and scolded him to educate his kids.  He thought, if nothing else, he will be able to save his future generation from selling salted grams and bribing cops from Marine Drive to Marina Beach and Victoria Memorial to India Gate.  How naïve of him.  His educated son has no employment and refuses to sell gram.  He is no illiterate so why should he be selling grams.  Education has singularly taught us one thing from Rann off Kuchh to Sundarbans and from Kashmir to Kovalam --- hate manual labour.  So, we the people of India, too educated to sell grams have become arm chair/ drawing room critiques – a forte of intellectuals. 

          India has all along been jeopardized, harmed and corrupted hollow by this so-called educated class.  The simple toiler who lives off his sweat still remains a simpleton, honest and God fearing.  Why just God fearing he breathes under constant fear of society, Gotra, Khaps, ‘what others will say’ and last but not the least his ‘conscience’.  On the contrary the educated suave, articulate homo-sapiens is the devil who devours what he fancies/ sets his eyes on.  He is so very game for every scam, cheating and embezzlement. To him, bribe is sweet as bride to his ears and eyes.  Ever ready for sweet indulgence and get away.  For you and me, India is our mother land, for him, her included, its not mother land rather a plot of land whose records can be tempered, FSI enhanced adding floor after floors and a sky-scrapper constructed.

          Be it 2G, KarGil (Adarsh), Games (Commonwealth) all are the illegitimate offspring born out of the incestuous alliance of educated elites. Poor Bharat still lives on pavement and has stray dogs for company enabling you to turn your head other way in sophisticated snobbery wrinkling your nose and snaring with right tinge “the country is going to/gone to dogs”.

          ‘Savior with the Slipper’ is our poor men’s Gladiator with Excalibur.  Critiques sprung and wasted no time in issuing condemnation – in democracy other than wearing there is no room / use for slippers or shoes.  It is nothing but slipper assassination er ... character (?) assassination of a sports lover. Calling poor Kalmadi The Sports Czar is so very fascist. Whoever said the World loves the lover. I find on the contrary the world hates this sports lover and wants to beat him not in steeple chase but with chappals, shoes, hockey sticks, and finally with baton, Queen’s or otherwise. But the omnipotent statesman of his stature hardly gets ruffled by such petty misplaced bravados.  For him, these are merely childish pranks.  More so, when this lonely chappal could not come anywhere near his splendid aura, leave alone touching / hitting him.  He is beyond all slippers and shoes.  Remember the benediction  Hirankashyap had received.  Gods had blessed and assured him that neither man nor beast will be able to kill him, he will not be killed during day or night, he will not be killed on earth or in sky.  So is our man, no less than Hirankashyap. No prison. No penalty. No police. No politician. He is above P-4. None will ever be able to reach His Holiness… the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful.

          I am saddened beyond words by the utterance of people including the ones in authority who are going around ‘loose talking’ that Kapil Thakur (The S-3 – Shining Star of Slipper) is having disturbed mental balance. So very mean!  Dear countrymen, among  we the 120 crore people of India, I find he is the ONLY ONE having right mental balance.  If you call him mentally disturbed or mad I wish and pray to the Almighty O God ! pray give us 120 crore the same mental disturbance, the same madness.  We too have slippers rather are left with slippers alone, rest everything else is taken away by successive governments in new and newer taxes.  God, if this is Adarsh (ideal model) save us from Adarsh, if this is Raja… give us ‘Rank’ (pauper) and if this is the 'Game', let us not host / watch any.  We are not yet ready for this ‘Demonocracy’.   

Did I hear Kalmadi say….   “Thaam mee yeto ! baraa!”

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