satire: Bootocracy

 

My India was once a great democracy, but in its conception, there was no boot. One of the reasons for this was that very few people in India had access to boots. Most of India lived barefoot. What barefoot, even the scanty clothes were scarcely available. Then we progressed. There were school boots and boots for outdoor. Gradually, PT Shoes also arrived. Which were either brown or white. White PT shoes kept wearer quite busy. Washing them with liquid chalk powder, drying them. These were the ways and means to keep students busy. On return from school first thing used to be washing your 'takhti' (wooden rectangular plank like slate) Takhti was dried, it was pasted with the help of Fuller’s earth (Multani mitti) and again drying it. There was also a hole on the handle of the takhti so that you could tie a cord in it to hold it (or hanging it) if you so wanted making it easy to carry takhti to and fro school. 

 

Talking about boots, from the time of deprivation, we have arrived at a stage where if you are asked how many pairs of shoes do you have? You won't be able to reply off hand. Now that you have boots in abundance, it was but obvious, that boots' indulgence increased, hence, boot went haywire. The fruit of this stray behavior is that often you get to hear news that so and so has thrown a shoe towards so and so. The recorded history of aiming and throwing at is not very ancient. This is part of our contemporary history. This is because the shoe itself has become available to common man now. This is a way of expressing 'thrower's frustration and demonstrating his protest. Sometimes, it proves to be just a medium to get publicity. Shoe thrower is not so important. The target is often a Man in Authority. There is no justification for throwing a shoe at the poor proletariat. He is already crushed under the boot of taxation and lack of means. Many a times the shoe thrower succeeds in what he wanted to say through the shoe. The desired objective is met. Gradually, we are moving towards that step of progress where entry will be available only after the shoes are removed outside. There are many sayings and idioms about shoes.  The shoe has been an integral part of our cultural and social milieu, now it is reaching commonest of men and hence, politics too. The future of shoes looks as bright as freshly polished shoes. Who knows shoe manufacturer may adopt the tag line as sales gimmick "Our company's shoe is light, acts like a guided missile. Easy to wear easy to throw. From 0 to 60 in less than 30 seconds. One will not even know from which direction the shoe has come. Who has thrown it? Our shoes are finger print proof. In foreseeable future i can see scholars doing PhD on the wide usage of shoes. Books will be sold in the market: A treatise on shoes.  Shoe-Puran, Kissa-e-Joota, Origin and Future of Paduka, Paduka - Chalisa. 101 ways to precise shoe throwing.

 

After becoming sufficiently popular inland, this 'sports' will find a place in the Commonwealth Games and Olympics. It is anybody's guess who will win medal after medal. Cities shall have Boot Throwing Board. 'Shoe Throwing Academy' will be opened where participants will get coaching in various shoe throwing techniques. You guessed it right, the President of BTB will be the one who has thrown the greatest number of shoes successfully or the one whom most shoes have been thrown at. Only a victim will be able to train the budding player in all its technical aspects.