Humor: House and Outhouse

 

         For the uninitiated, an outhouse is a smaller house, rather a room outside the main house generally at the back of the main house. It is also called servant quarters. Bungalows had these attached to them since British times. Bigger the bungalow more would be the number of outhouses to house butler, cooks, barber, tailor and washerman.

 

        

The readers who know about Tambola (Housie) would know that after ‘House’ comes ‘Outhouse’ and fetches lesser prize money than the House. The type of insane money being found these days ‘burning’ in outhouse, definitely makes outhouse a sought-after proposition. Just imagine huge amount of money lying scattered, unlocked, unaccounted and uncounted in outhouse. It is now calculated in terms of sacks…how many sacks equal to this much amount. So, sack is the new unit of measurement of money especially the ill gotten one.

          

By and by, builders will publicize not the actual house nor the accompanying garages/parking spaces but the spacious fire proof, burglar proof outhouses fitted with in-built fire resistant safes. Smarter builders will go to the extent of boasting as to how many crores their walk-in safe can accommodate comfortably.100 crores 1000 crores, just like the way refrigerators’ capacity is measured/flaunted. Prospective buyers will not go for actual house, first, they would like to inspect the outhouse and then decide whether to buy or otherwise.  

 

           Certain senior officer’s outhouse was raided for it was operating a hooch making small scale cottage industry, what you call MSME these days. The case was particularly interesting as the state was a dry state with total prohibition. Now who would suspect such a senior officer’s bungalow would have such a senior facility, the outhouse had a separate entry from backside. The business was going on uninterrupted.

There is another theory! why burn the currency? must have been some jealous or zealous guy, I have seen it in English films, this hero does not touch (the sin money) or report it to police, he just collects the wand of notes at one place and puts them on fire and without turning even once walks away to burn next heap of sin money.    

 

    One officer, I know who had earned enough number of enemies during one posting, so when he was transferred, a guy had put a small burning cloth in the wagon carrying his entire house hold kit. When the wagon reached its destination, it had nothing but ashes.

    

               So take it from me and be assured, for the sake of money or maid, the out house is more precious than the main house.