satire: Kanhaiya was not a Butter Thief

 

           

 

(Netaji has proclaimed first ever since the times of Lord Krishna that he was not a butter thief. It was Mughals who conspired & spoke against Lord Krishna calling him as a petty butter thief)

 

 

Recently, Neta ji has given a public statement. When political netas speak, they insist it should be called a ‘statement’. Netaji says Krishn-Kanhaiya was not a butter thief. This was nothing but a conspiracy hatched by the Mughals. Either poor Surdas was threatened or black-mailed by assuring him some sops from Royal treasury.  Assurance is a very effective weapon. Due to assurances election after election Politics is a ‘low risk high profit’ business model in our country.  As soon as the polish of one set of assurance fades, switch over to another set of assurances. introduce a new set of assurances to the market. Just as women go gaga seeing the SALE & heavy discount ads so do the voters and netas have been soaking in the glory of manifesto since last 75 years.  

 

So dear sir! When Laddu Gopal’s mouth could contain the whole universe seeing which ‘Maiiya’ Yashoda was surprised. Now, Janardhan! What did you do to be labelled a butter thief? I think this was a part of a big conspiracy. ‘O Dwarkadheesh’! You can be anything you wanted but no not a thief. If you insist that he is a butter thief, I will say ‘Hey Girdhar’! You are not a butter thief; you are a Heart stealer. Ask ‘Gopis’! Ask Radha! ‘O Muralidhar’! You are the stealer of peaceful sleep. Ask Meera. ‘Hey Keshav’! If at all, you are a cause of sleepless nights. Ask Rukmani! Madhav and butter thief? No... Never, this is a white lie, as white as homemade butter.

 

 

In fact, this word thief is erroneous. Could one be a vote thief? never! Vote is dropped by you in the machine. So be it vote or butter, all is Maya (illusion). What is your vote? what is my vote? You are human, I am human too. We both are same very God's creation.   

 

 

You think! Hey ‘Natkhat’ (naughty) Natwar Nagar! If at all you were a butter thief, for whom? For the poor people, for the masses. All household in Gokul, did not own cows. O Gopal! you were the only one who had access to the cow sheds. O Yashoda Nandan!  You stole butter only to give to the the deprived proletariat class. The welfare of the whole world has always been Kanha your top priority in life. The British themselves stole how much of our wealth and property. Before someone could point a finger, they themselves started calling others --thieves. Something similar happened to you. I came to the conclusion that it was a conspiracy of the Mughals and the British. O ‘Morpankhi’! Hey ‘Banwari’! you had everything in abundance? You have all along been a Devnahar (Giver) Your childhood buddy Sudama carried Chivda but in return you built and gifted a magnificent palace to Sudama. Draupadi once tore the corner of saree and applied bandaged on Mohan your finger. When the time came, ‘Govind’! you appeared as saviour and safeguarded her modesty by offering an unending sari. Now calling such a miracle man as butter thief is nothing but being petty and mean. It is an insult. It's time to wipe out this tag. We owe it to you. You just could not see plight of poor. Poor people used to eat dry bread.

O Vasudev! You used to take out butter for them and gave all of it to them. Many a times when you were caught, you confessed and took the blame, as if it was for you, just to save poor masses. Just because of this ‘misunderstanding’ the tag of butter thief got linked to your name.

 

There is not an iota of evidence against you. I have checked out the entire history. O ‘Damodar’!  I am confident you will come out clean and pure like homemade butter.