satire: Entire Science of Exam

 

 

I do not know who started this system of examination and when.  This system is tormenting us since its inception. Examinees are mortal but Examination is immortal. Men-women are mortal but Dracula is immortal. Examination has taken away the very marrow from our back bone. we have been taking examination one after another since birth. Due to the morbid fear of examination many examinees have lost their lives. Examination is the biggest thief who steals your youth. There is a song.... Life is a battle at every step" Actually, lyricist wants to say that life is an Examination at every step. Ask victims of my generation. We have taken the board examination early in life, from class V… can you imagine! In the fifth grade itself, this ghost of examination has been after us, innocents. Imagine a fifth standard child going to take the exam at another center holding mama ji’s hand, The enemies of education did not take any pity on us kids. Then the eighth-class board and then came the higher secondary board. The Mission of school/college ought to be “You may survive our fee structure but not our examination system”

 

T times we were helped just before examination by our good Samaritan teachers, God bless them. Certain kind hearted teachers took pity on us. They would ‘leak’ 'Important' questions a couple of days in advance. Come exam! and the Book Bazar will be abuzz with Key and Guide books. There was another variety - Guess paper. The book seller would keep Guess Paper stapled in yellow foil like soft porn. Guess paper came from several publishing houses. Every publisher used to claim 98 to 99% strike rate. Apart from these, guide booklets popularly called, ‘Dukki’ supposedly the gist of text books was also on sale in the forecourt of college. It used to be a lot cheaper than the text books. The teacher would go hoarse advising us to stay away from key/guide books but in vain. Dukki was our last resort, in fact, the only resort.    

 

At that time, we had no idea that the entire paper could be leaked. Just a ‘blue tooth’ device and you may top the examination.   Solver facility was not available during our times. Those who had to make ‘chits’, had to burn midnight oil. As if this was not enough, one had to remember which question was hidden, where. In the process, God knows how many shirts’ cuffs were unstitched and socks spoiled.

 

How easy it has become to pass any examination now. Examination of whatever hue and shade has either been compromised or eager to be compromised.  Do you want a ‘solver’? Impeccable record holders will be provided. Do you need question paper in advance? will be made available to you on your mobile phone. Do you want examination to be cancelled? Shall be done. You don't want to attend classes? We are empathetic, your desire is our command provided you pay the right price. You don't want to take the exam at all and yet need a degree/diploma? Don’t bother!   We have opened the ‘entire’ university under one roof for you. Under 'Your Degree at Your Door step' scheme M.B.B.S., M.B.A., B.Tech. whatever you fancy shall be made available. Have no fear! our degree/diploma certificate appears more authentic and genuine than the real ones.   You don't have to take any tension, we are here ...you can outsource your worries to us. We understand you are engaged in the important task of nation building. Who has the time for such mundane pursuits. Nation-building in itself is a huge examination.

Leave this minor paperwork to us. All the Best!!