Memorandum to Doggie sir!

 

                                                         

 

 

India is a country of many diversities. Quite colorful at that, to say the least.  In an Indian province, when the delegation of farmers decided to submit their Memorandum of Demands to the District Magistrate-cum- Collector, containing their grievances. Lo behold! D.M. was not in his office, popularly called Collectorate. Anguish of farmers was understandable. More so, when they had taken prior appointment of DM. Learned readers would realize, DM is not 'do nothing idler'. He has many engagements. Office Meetings, meeting number of aggrieved citizens as also field inspections and as if this was not enough, VCs (Video Conferences) at the drop of hat. Farmers did not take absence of DM kindly. Farmers were so enraged that when they spotted a stray dog in Collectorate courtyard, they decided to tie their memorandum in the neck of this dog and as if it was not enough, they got themselves photographed with the dog. 

 

 

Farmers were enraged after giving appointment to them how could Collector chicken out like this. The memorandum had nothing uncharitable against the collector. In fact, the grievances raised were not within the authority of the collector. It was addressed to the Central Govt. Collector’s office and bungalow has large garden. The garden often has squirrels, pet dog, cat, deer and even langoor. So, they can be trained to receive memorandum on collector’s behalf. The delegates can get themselves group-photographed with them. You are used to see tourists getting themselves photographed with chimpanzee, drugged tigers, parakeets and dolphins. For this purpose, it could be notified for the information of all and sundry that with immediate effect Squirrel of Collector’s office/residence garden is nominated/authorized to receive memorandum. Delegates cannot give this memorandum to any other squirrel found loitering on road. Remember! a young first-time film actor turned M.P., busy in film world was on the horns of dilemma whether to ‘act’ in films or in his constituency.  He authorized a Tom or was it Dick to act as his emissary, meet electorates and local officials.  The over enthusiast Tom / Dick went ga ga and splashed the letter in entire social media. Needless to say, the Hon’ble M.P. became butt of jokes. The letter was withdrawn/cancelled within one week of its issuance. The opposition contestant felt sadistic pleasure.  The actor found acting, his old passion and avocation more paying and satisfying then in his new role thrust upon him. Poor electorates were left high and dry.    

 

 

These creatures, as is the trend these days, would be hired on contract basis. For this purpose, two sets of creatures would be hired one for office and the other one for official residence. May mull over training/hiring crows and parrots to attend to telephone calls. Not a tough task, only a couple of sentences would suffice e.g. "Saab is in bathroom"

"….saab is in meeting…." "Saab is out on field…" "No idea" etc.

This would also help increase efficiency. With men attending these routine chores there is always a fear he may be hobnobbing with visitors, in the process may be getting his palm greased.   These docile creatures are far from such temptations. They just need a couple of bananas, a bowl of milk, green chillies, green grass and may be a bone. Imagine! just a bone to wipe away the bone of contention forever. The animal will be filled with self-confidence and pride. After all they are integral part of our culture. No deity travelled on foot. They had their favorite ‘rides’ be it mouse, buffalo, lion or crow. Time to restore the ‘lost’ pride among them.