satire: Indian Politicians' reaction to Epstein file Expose'-- Cold Casual Calculated!!

 

 

1. It is NOT me.

2. This is nothing but Photoshop. The head resembles me, torso is certainly not mine.

3. This is the opposition's stunt.

4. Foreign Hand is there in this. Why just the hand? The legs, the knees all are theirs.

5. This is a conspiracy to weaken and defame India

6. This is New India, India's progress is sore to the eyes of other countries, so this is their Plan I mean conspiracy.

7. I have never been to the United States.

8. I had gone to America, but I did not go to any island.

9. I don't know any Jefferson, only one Jefferson I had read about, but he died a long time ago. Thomas Jefferson.

10. Who is this, Lolita? These tapes are definitely tampered. My wife's name is Lalita.

11. Bro! I do not even have a passport

12. This is the dirty trick of Congress.

13. Our rapid progress is not taken kindly by America. Its nothing but jealousy.

14. I take Aspirin sometimes, but what is this Episteen? Is it a new medicine for headache in the market?

  15. No comments

  16. Elections are coming, so it is the mischief created by my rivals, but you see! they will be humbled.

17. No heat to the glass

18. Lord Rama was also accused, but he had the last laugh. All this is an illusion of demonic powers, but like every time, I will come back unblemished from this circle.

19. I have full faith in the judiciary.

20. If the high command says, I will gladly resign immediately. I have no greed for a chair. For me, the honour of my party is supreme.

21. I am a disciplined soldier of my party.

22. Sexual attraction is a natural instinct; it should not be made public in a cultured country like ours.

23. We have filed a case in the Supreme Court. Because the case is 'sub-judice', it will not be possible to make a statement.

24. This is a body double, not me.

25. I don't know English, how could it be me?

26. I was busy in my constituency during those days, how could I simultaneously be present at two places. Think before speaking.

27. Are you a traitor?

28. Are you a congressman? if not, why are you asking such questions? How could a 'Sanatani' even imagine such a scandalous thing?

29. I will do anything for my motherland when the threat of China was increasing. I once went to the US to explain India's perspective to the World. I knew that I was being recorded, but I kept the country's interest paramount.

30. Children are of purest mind. It is the way of welcoming guests all over the world that children give bouquets. They sing welcome songs. Apart from this, if there is anything else, then it is all the wonder of AI technology. You know how far America is in terms of technology.

31. I am not that good in English language. I had a headache, I asked them for a tablet of Aspirin, till date i fail to understand why they brought this man whose name was similar to Aspirin. I thought he was a Dr. and has prescribed some therapy.