satire: Oxygen – The Enemy of Life

 

 

Our atmosphere is 78% Nitrogen. That means oxygen barely manages a humble share in the leftovers. Just imagine — share of oxygen is 21% and in remaining 1% there are all sorts of other gases. No wonder there’s such a mad rush for oxygen! Yoga Veer wake up at 4 a.m. to inhale oxygen as much possible with great gusto and devotion. Hospitals start screaming for oxygen, the moment a patient sneezes, and we all saw the great oxygen war during corona time. The world is busy planting trees to increase oxygen levels, while we, the proud citizens are busy cutting down forests to build expressways, factories, and open new mines — because who needs trees? We need four-lane highways.

 

I heard Bhutan has negative carbon rating— they literally give back more than they take. Meanwhile, our AQI hits 400 or 500 and we just shrug. We’re a chill nation. Pollution doesn’t bother us — life and death are all in God’s hands anyway.  

 

So, these little AQI numbers can’t scare us. We’re too busy being ‘developed’ And development, of course, must never stop! You ‘trim’ one tree in your backyard and the Municipal Gods come running to serve you with notices, legal threats and so much paperwork. However, you cut a thousand trees for ‘nation-building’ we’ll give you an award. Builders flatten entire forest, then sell you flats boasting of ‘eco-friendly living’ — complete with a plastic-grass lawn and a narrow man-made lake complete with chemical froth having detergent like smell. 

 

Have you ever seen a single political party talk about oxygen or the environment in their election manifestos?   You can get a Pollution Control Certificate without ever bringing your car for testing. Similarly, your vote can be cast without going to election booth. It only goes to prove that human morals have ‘fallen’ once you fall, you keep ‘falling’ be it any field, environment, politics, or ethics?

 

Anyway, back to oxygen. In one hospital, a patient’s condition became critical, and, as usual, oxygen was administered — or as we say these days, ‘he’s on oxygen’ Not to be confused with a ventilator — which is a different ball game. So, oxygen was given, with the hope that even if no improvement, at least stability would be there, while meter(bill) is ticking. But then, boom! the oxygen cylinder itself exploded. We used to hear only of cooking gas cylinder blasts; now even oxygen has joined the club. Truly, this is the age of ‘Kalyuga’ — when even life-giving air decides to go out with a bang.

 

The patient, to whom oxygen was supposed to give life, was instead blown to bits. ‘Died painfully’ the report said — as if there’s a painless way to explode. There’ll be an inquiry, of course. There always is, that is the norm. But maybe it’s time we ensure that oxygen, the very symbol of life, doesn’t turn into the reason for death. Because at this rate, soon you talk of oxygen, relatives will react; ‘No thanks, doctor — we’ll take him home. He’s safer without oxygen’ And that, dear readers, is modern civilization in one breath — or rather the lack of one.