satire: SOS -save my wife (from would have been son-in-Law)

 

Before wedding there comes the great Indian tradition of seeing the would-be-bride. These events are a kind of open house — or better still, an arranged-marriage curtain raiser. The elders sit around like a board of directors deciding crucial life matters: the menu, the venue, the dowry, the gifts, the number of uncles, aunties, brothers-in-law, and sisters-in-law attending — and of course, what each of them will receive in the sacred exchange of gifts and egos.

 

But among all these negotiations, the smart women of the house ensure when the boy’s party visits to ‘inspect’ no unmarried, attractive young women are allowed anywhere near the bride-to-be Why? Because nobody wants the groom-to-be to suddenly distracted and starts comparing his bride to be with her friend. To prevent that one filmy dialogue, “Not her — I like that one!” So, would-be sisters-in-law and pretty friends are strictly kept away till the deal is sealed.

 

Fair enough. That much makes sense. But tell me — what about the mother of the bride? You can’t exactly hide her behind a curtain, can you? After all, she’s the one running the show. And then, what happened was unimaginable— in a small town like Gonda or Basti, where nobody would have imagined such a scandal. The 23-year-old groom candidate was rejected for some reason. But by then, it was too late. The boy and the would-be mother-in-law had already struck up a friendship chord to be turned into stormy romance— the sweet nothings were whispered/exchanged on phone for hours and hours.

 

Once the wedding proposal was cancelled, there was no need for secrecy anymore. The sweet nothings turned into long, open conversations. What people feared most had come true: the groom ran away — not with the daughter, but with the mother-in-law. Poor father-in-law must have sat there thinking, my daughter didn’t get a husband, and now I’ve lost my wife too.

 

So next time, when you plan one of these bride-viewing ceremonies, remember: it’s not enough to hide the would-be bride’s sisters and friends you might have to keep bride’s mother also behind the curtain. The times are dangerous, my friend, now you know the virtues of Purdah system.

Meanwhile, our groom must be humming like Mehmood’s popular song:

            “If not Dinar, Dollar will do

             If not Daughter, Mom will do!”