satire: The Son-in-Law Who Eloped—with Mother-in-Law

 

 

There’s a famous line of famous poet John Keats:

A thing of beauty is a joy forever, I would like to add not only joy forever also joy for everyone, be it son-in-law.

 

Take Aligarh, for instance. The city, once known for its locks, knives, and a healthy population of mosquitoes, is now making headlines for its unlocked morals and sharp instincts. The city is now diversifying—adding bold escapades to its portfolio. Let us expect the unexpected and unexpected it was! The groom didn’t just ditch his bride—he ran away with his mother-in-law! welcome to Kalyug my friends!

 

What a mother-in-law! True to her name Apna Devi, when translated it means- My own Goddess. The name itself sounds like an open invitation: I’m divinely yours. Tell me—how could anyone resist a woman who introduces herself as your own Goddess? Her husband, Jeetendra, a busy “businessman” in Bangalore, truly lived up to his name—he conquered not his senses (Jeet + indriya) but failed to embrace & conquer his own Apna Devi.

 

 They say love is blind, but this affair had 20/20 vision and an excellent sense of direction Before vanishing, the duo took ₹3.5 lakh in cash and jewellery worth ₹5 lakh. A true partnership of love and loot, hand in hand. Love might be blind, but it’s clearly not foolish.

 

It all started, as such things often do, with a smartphone. I’m starting to believe what many elderly believed all along—mobile phones are ruining this generation. No, wait—not just the young ones, the older ones too! Remember that fancy smartphone Apna Devi gifted her future son-in-law during the engagement? Apparently, she also gave him ‘tutorials’ for 20 hours a day. Now, if a mother-in-law teaches her son-in-law for 20 hours daily you can bet, he’ll master more than just apps and selfies. If a mother-in-law spends twenty hours a day tutoring her future son-in-law, it’s not hard to guess what subject was being taught—and it certainly wasn’t Excel spreadsheets. By the end of the crash course, the student had become an expert in matters of the heart, and the teacher had become his partner in the final practical exam: The Great Escape indeed. Result? He became too smart—and made Apna Devi truly his own. As if Apna Devi needed any hard persuasions.

 

Moral of the story:

Next time, dear fathers! when choosing a son-in-law, do a proper background check—and for heaven’s sake, keep mother-in-law to be, out of sight!