satire: Simple People – Simple Choices

 

 

It happened in good old city Kanpur — In one lively neighborhood, there was a birthday party. The friends and neighborhood friends were invited. Among the guests was a perfectly normal husband-wife duo. Music started, lights dimmed, and people began dancing. Wife danced and danced, no problem there. The moment Mr. (Husband) joined in and began dancing with another lady guest, boom! the peace treaty collapsed.

 

The wife was furious. Not ‘I’ll never talk to you’ kind. Instead she declared “I’ll die” and off she bolted, crying & declaring she would end her life under a train. Kanpur Railway Station almost got a new kind of drama that day. Somehow the neighbors dragged her back home, but she refused to calm down. Husband tried pleading, explaining, even emotional blackmail — nothing worked. And then… came the samosa.

 

Yes, the humble triangular savior. One bite and all was forgiven. Hatred vanished, sorrow dissolved in the chutney, and harmony was restored. That was the moment I realized — that famous ad Unche log, Unchi pasand got it all wrong. The truth of Indian marriage is: ‘Simple log – simple pasand’

 

Now, personally, if I were the husband, I’d swear off dancing forever. You never know when your wife might decide to express her anger through a suicide threat. Imagine if the train actually came on time! Still, to avoid future disasters, I feel wives should simply issue an (ODR) Official Dance Rulebook for husbands:

 

1. Husband shall only perform certain approved dance forms — kathakali yes, kathak no. Bharatanatyam okay, Odissi not okay.

2. Maintain a two-foot security distance from all women on the dance floor. No touching, no Chipko Movement.

3. Must you dance? do it with another man. Problem solved.

4. Consider enrolling in classes teaching launda (Boy) dance.

5. When invited to a party, simply announce that your leg is broken. If necessary, keep a fake plaster cast handy. Strap it on before any event and you’re safe.

 

See, the real goal in marriage is peace and harmony. Not disco. Because once your wife starts her own version of ‘Tandav dance’ So dear husbands, forget Elvis Presley, forget Shammi Kapoor, even Mithun Da — take one good look at your wife and put dancer in you, rest. 

 

And if, despite all logic, the dance fever still rises — keep a few samosas ready. You never know when you’ll need them to save your life.

Simple people – simple tastes