(god alone knows where these 'exchange offers' stop, would they ever ? )
We are taught that in ancient times Barter system was an important mode of commerce in India. One could barter old household goods for new brassware and other kitchen wares. Poor tillers worked day long and in the exchange were given enough grain to keep them going. But those were happier times and going was easy, in any case was not as tough as it has become today duly aggravated by plastic money and so called easy instalment plans. Housewives of yesteryears could buy 'cute' utensils needed or not, in exchange of old clothes. They would go around showing their new found containers as if they have succeeded and superceded all in clinching the biggest deal ever.
Times changed and changed so swiftly that one could hardly keep pace with it without going bonkers and/or bankrupt. Barter system gave way to Exchange System. Bring your old pair of shoes and get a concession of a couple of hundred rupees while buying this strange looking shoes purported to have been made of 'imported' leather. Bring your old goggles,shell out another thousand rupees and join the brigade of latest sunglass wearers who want to see it all and show it all. Old music system,old telephone instrument,old scooter,old refrigerator,old television,old washing machine,old mattress,old car and what have you. Builders readily bought your house and raged it to ground to hastily erect a multi-storeyed housing complex or shopping arcade. Can you imagine where this mad race of exchange offers will take us. Not even 250 years have passed when Britishers invaded India with so tempting and overpowering exchange offers that ultimately 'Bharat' was exchanged for 'India'. Let us see and watch these multi-nationals,put together, I expect them to do a better job than East India Company. The way market forces are shaping up and the way we are lapping up these exchange offers,day is not far off when we will have following exchange offers :
OLD COMPUTER :
Computer has completely taken over our lives from eye testing,sex determination test, horoscopes to bank frauds,we have come along way baby, deeper than Bill Gates could fathom.Grandson to grandpa all ve beome computer fan. My maid too has bought a laptop, has a website of her own and regularly chats on net with the maids of other countries on topics such as how to do dishes and scrub floor in most effective way with optimum results.She is wellversed in several computer games. So dont waste your time,bring your old computer and take away the computer of next generation.
OLD HEART :
Oh come of it. Why dont you just accept it that your heart is not in tune with present times and gets depressed at the sight of nudity and corruption. You can not even eat to your heart's content-- cheolostrol man ! The virus of conscience and compassion need to be located and liquidated promptly. You must get rid of your heart before it causes any more damage. Please come and take away latest German technique throw away heart. 'Do it yourself' kit is free so that you can yourself transplant it.
OLD NOSE :
Sridevis and Shilpas all sport nose of our company. You need not be bothered any more about your long,crooked,bulbous or parrot like nose. Visit us once and pick up the nose best suited to your otherwise beautiful face. Avail of our family pack scheme and get the matching ears complimentary.
OLD EYES :
Time has come to turn a blind eye towards your existing pair of eyes. Get them gouged,if not already done by cataract operation free camp wallas. We specialise in eyes of all hues and shades. Red,Green, Blue, Brown Orange. You can prepare your own very special customised eyes with the help of our in-house computer.
OLD SKIN :
Ours is the oldest and the only herbal outlet. Satisfaction is guaranteed. Who do you think Michael Jackson visited for his skin change,us only man! The music concert was only a front for consultation. You choose the texture and shade and we will change your skin,putting chameleon to shame. Annual contract at concessional rates is available for party hoppers. We have two thosand eight hundred shades including 'mera wala yellow'.
OLD OVERSIZED WAIST :
It is a dream of every girl( aunties too ) to have a slender waist similar to Barbie dolls. Your dream will come true now. We chisel your waist precisely to your taste. No side effects. Dont believe us...? Ask Bebo. You can walk to the ramps of a fashion show or disco straight from our clinic.
OLD WIFE :
By far our most sensational offer. One got to avail it to believe it. We assure you, you will get hooked. Please try to read between the lines. For various reasons it is a company policy not to divulge much about this unique offer. Come early in the morning to avoid rush. We are open on sunday.
OLD PA :
To hell with these old men of today,they are so very outdated. They are not at all environment friendly just like poly bags. Like old cars, their maintenance cost too is very high. Please come and deposit your old man of any make and take your pick from the latest series. Every tenth walk in will be given 10% off. One month trial scheme with money back guarantee is also there.
OLD BOYFRIEND :
In case you are seen with the same boyfriend in more than two dos, you are looked down upon. It is fast times baby. Dont be senti. No use wasting your emotions,grow up. Come and dump your old boyfriend with us and walk away with the fresh one from our latest Italian collection of stud boyfriends.
OLD IN-LAWS :
In- laws, like cigarette smoking are injurious to health. Nonetheless, brand new in-laws are less injurious just like low tar cigarettes. We are showcasing new jeans and jacket sporting American in-laws. You will just love them. Havent you loved cowboy movies all these years. Avail of our early bird discount offers. Limited stock.
COME ONE COME ALL.
We are taught that in ancient times Barter system was an important mode of commerce in India. One could barter old household goods for new brassware and other kitchen wares. Poor tillers worked day long and in the exchange were given enough grain to keep them going. But those were happier times and going was easy, in any case was not as tough as it has become today duly aggravated by plastic money and so called easy instalment plans. Housewives of yesteryears could buy 'cute' utensils needed or not, in exchange of old clothes. They would go around showing their new found containers as if they have succeeded and superceded all in clinching the biggest deal ever.
Times changed and changed so swiftly that one could hardly keep pace with it without going bonkers and/or bankrupt. Barter system gave way to Exchange System. Bring your old pair of shoes and get a concession of a couple of hundred rupees while buying this strange looking shoes purported to have been made of 'imported' leather. Bring your old goggles,shell out another thousand rupees and join the brigade of latest sunglass wearers who want to see it all and show it all. Old music system,old telephone instrument,old scooter,old refrigerator,old television,old washing machine,old mattress,old car and what have you. Builders readily bought your house and raged it to ground to hastily erect a multi-storeyed housing complex or shopping arcade. Can you imagine where this mad race of exchange offers will take us. Not even 250 years have passed when Britishers invaded India with so tempting and overpowering exchange offers that ultimately 'Bharat' was exchanged for 'India'. Let us see and watch these multi-nationals,put together, I expect them to do a better job than East India Company. The way market forces are shaping up and the way we are lapping up these exchange offers,day is not far off when we will have following exchange offers :
OLD COMPUTER :
Computer has completely taken over our lives from eye testing,sex determination test, horoscopes to bank frauds,we have come along way baby, deeper than Bill Gates could fathom.Grandson to grandpa all ve beome computer fan. My maid too has bought a laptop, has a website of her own and regularly chats on net with the maids of other countries on topics such as how to do dishes and scrub floor in most effective way with optimum results.She is wellversed in several computer games. So dont waste your time,bring your old computer and take away the computer of next generation.
OLD HEART :
Oh come of it. Why dont you just accept it that your heart is not in tune with present times and gets depressed at the sight of nudity and corruption. You can not even eat to your heart's content-- cheolostrol man ! The virus of conscience and compassion need to be located and liquidated promptly. You must get rid of your heart before it causes any more damage. Please come and take away latest German technique throw away heart. 'Do it yourself' kit is free so that you can yourself transplant it.
OLD NOSE :
Sridevis and Shilpas all sport nose of our company. You need not be bothered any more about your long,crooked,bulbous or parrot like nose. Visit us once and pick up the nose best suited to your otherwise beautiful face. Avail of our family pack scheme and get the matching ears complimentary.
OLD EYES :
Time has come to turn a blind eye towards your existing pair of eyes. Get them gouged,if not already done by cataract operation free camp wallas. We specialise in eyes of all hues and shades. Red,Green, Blue, Brown Orange. You can prepare your own very special customised eyes with the help of our in-house computer.
OLD SKIN :
Ours is the oldest and the only herbal outlet. Satisfaction is guaranteed. Who do you think Michael Jackson visited for his skin change,us only man! The music concert was only a front for consultation. You choose the texture and shade and we will change your skin,putting chameleon to shame. Annual contract at concessional rates is available for party hoppers. We have two thosand eight hundred shades including 'mera wala yellow'.
OLD OVERSIZED WAIST :
It is a dream of every girl( aunties too ) to have a slender waist similar to Barbie dolls. Your dream will come true now. We chisel your waist precisely to your taste. No side effects. Dont believe us...? Ask Bebo. You can walk to the ramps of a fashion show or disco straight from our clinic.
OLD WIFE :
By far our most sensational offer. One got to avail it to believe it. We assure you, you will get hooked. Please try to read between the lines. For various reasons it is a company policy not to divulge much about this unique offer. Come early in the morning to avoid rush. We are open on sunday.
OLD PA :
To hell with these old men of today,they are so very outdated. They are not at all environment friendly just like poly bags. Like old cars, their maintenance cost too is very high. Please come and deposit your old man of any make and take your pick from the latest series. Every tenth walk in will be given 10% off. One month trial scheme with money back guarantee is also there.
OLD BOYFRIEND :
In case you are seen with the same boyfriend in more than two dos, you are looked down upon. It is fast times baby. Dont be senti. No use wasting your emotions,grow up. Come and dump your old boyfriend with us and walk away with the fresh one from our latest Italian collection of stud boyfriends.
OLD IN-LAWS :
In- laws, like cigarette smoking are injurious to health. Nonetheless, brand new in-laws are less injurious just like low tar cigarettes. We are showcasing new jeans and jacket sporting American in-laws. You will just love them. Havent you loved cowboy movies all these years. Avail of our early bird discount offers. Limited stock.
COME ONE COME ALL.
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