MY DIARY*

* infamous Jain hawala case


These days when I meet people I make it a point to inquire whether they wrote a diary. If their answer is positive I requset them not to ever mention my name in their diary. If there is any debt, they thought bad debt, ask me straight I will gladly pay but please spare me the agonizing embarrassment followed by sustained interoogation, which may befall upon me. Think of it, a man like me resigning on moral grounds.


Times have changed,no invention,no discovery,however high tech seem to impress people any more. Gone are the days when you could impress people with as little as color television and VCR, today folks dont look at you twice even if you have your own jet,yacht and sat (sattelite). On the contrary I find people are going around the city requesting entry in personal diary of big entreprenuers and businessmen. They believe, if their names appear in the diary of few bigwigs that will immensely enhance their self esteem. They will be conferred an enviable status in their social circle. Till now, we have been ignored and kind of written off as 'service class' people by our more prosperous peer group. I dont like wasting my time interacting with people who dont regularly write their diary.


The diary has achieved a unique position today. It has come to be known and rightly so as having more devastating effects than RDX. Diary is gunning for people in Delhi as savagely as Gen. Dyer did it in Amritsar. They had Dyer, we have Diary. In half a century we have become so very capable that we can chew,swallow and digest any number of scams,kickbacks and scandals without asking for Hajmola. We have become a giant nation best compared to lazy Leviathan who wakes up only to destroy and devour everything it sets its eyes on, be it fodder,gun,sugar,bank,train engine,government quarters, petrol pumps,gas agency anything. A thing which is required to be distributed among ' a lot men' is called allotment. hence, all along deals (read bribe) under the table have been justified for everthing requiring allotment by whatever body. Capacity to bribe is now officially acknowledged as an index of one's financial soundness to run the proposed enterprise.


Diary has tremendous taming effect. Tigers are known to have been turned into meek goats.There is an uneasy fear of unknown emanating from diary.All of a sudden, entrants of the diary are going around declaring their faith in judiciary. I quite realise that if you talk more about judiciary you are likely to land in trouble and hence, in Tihar which is still manned by the same staff existed during Biscuit king's time. I dont even have blood pressure worth the name which could keep me comfortably in a deluxe nursing home till the remand lasted.


It is not known in which period diary writing began. However,history of lies and deceit can be traced back to as early as Adam and Eve era. Massive account books have been compressed in a tiny diary. Computer chip diary could have so many characters that it would suffice character exposure of entire politician community several times over.


I am seriously contemplating to write my diary. First to figure would be my useless neighbors. I intend to enter 10 crores against their names. Second will be my teacher. An entry of Rs.50 lakhs for promoting me to next class would be enough to make him run from one court to another. He would then realise how it feels to make one run in tennis court. To my boss I intend paying a hefty sum of Rs.50 crores. The entry would read 'for outstanding C.R. and promotion'. I can hardly wait to see him photographed while being escorted to Court in police custody with face covered. I would give few crores to my landlord. He has infinite restrictions for me. I want my third class landlord to be given third degree. He be housed in a solitary cell so that he realises that thwe cell he has rented out to me calling it one room set is no better than the prison cell.


Few relatives are there with whom I have to settle old scores. They always avoided me lest I leech on to them and borrow money. During summer vacations they used to turn extra cold fearing I may land with family. I wish to dole out 20 crores to them. I can imagine, when caught, they would simply deny having truck with me, leave alone accepting money from a pauper like me. I am confident our police would not buy their story and even when they do it, it would be with such a hefty hafta that my relatives will be fleeced of their last penny leaving them bankrupt and miserable. I have full faith in our police department.