Ravi ki duniya

Ravi ki duniya

Sunday, January 31, 2010

MICHAEL JACK-SON-OF-INDIA*

* On the euphoria accompanied his visit
In recent past you have stolen the hearts,heads and headlins of millions of men,women and media in Mumbai. Organisers have categorically told one and all -- no troubles this is our show. Mumbai's prestige and cultural sensitivity is at stake. By now we all agree that problem in India is no more of food,clothing and housing. Mr Bharat Kumar to please look for another topic. Now a large chunk of our population eats noodles,pizza and drinks pepsi.They even win luxury car in some obscure contest of slogan writing or recognising lips,nose or eyes of some otherwise well known actresses.Gone are the days when India had difficulty in providing clean drinking water. Today we have mineral water jars and fountain pepsi. No bread but cakes. With weekly beauty contests in each locality there is no more shortage of clothes. On the contrary, short clothes are the 'in thing'. I hear multi nationals are all set to take the field of undergarments by storm. We would all be wearing designers' underwears. High time you gave up grandpa's striped boxer shorts. Enough is enough. Grow up man !


You dont know Mike! Small step of yours is proving a giant leap for we Indians. My country is really grateful, you came. I will tell my grand children many years from now(I'm still young) how i saw you from close quarters. How you glanced at me and blew a flying kiss. What excitement !. More than what might have been felt by our leaders of yesteryears when they were on Dandi March with Gandhiji or in forest with Netaji.


None knew Ben Kingsley was Indian till he made it big. Similarly, majority of people in India do not know,but I know you are basically from India. Running from one Employment Exchange to another when you failed to secure any worthwhile job, you took to music as a 'time pass' and earned paltry amount singing in keertans and jagratas. Subsequently, you left India with nothing but mother's blessings and a burning desire to make it big. That was the day when MAI KA LAL JAI KISHAN (Mother's favorite Jai Kishan ) was reborn as Michael Jackson. You are no exception. Indian scientists and writers who left India usually made it big,big enough to visit India only to collect honors and momentos instituted by their community.


My happiness knew no bounds when i learnt that my childhood pal Jai Kishan is coming to India. So sweet, Dont think twice, so what if you mis-spelt India when you wrote ' I love Inde' on the mirror of your Presidential suite. One, I know you were always weak in written English, two, who knows,inspired by you, we may change our country's name from India to Inde. You are not aware but we have not changed a bit. We still derive child-like pleasure and political mileage in changing names of our streets,stations and states. I hear you also left your hat and used towels in the hotel. Your fans plan to auction them in next socialites charity ball. I never knew you had such a fan following in India. Stadium was packed wityh who's who of India. Strugglers,smugglers,actors,teenagers with Barbie like figure and their parents with paunches peeping through oversized Levis, all were there.


Hey Jai why dont you contest election from Bombay,I can assure you an unopposed win. You ll ve none standing opposite you. Even if cultural Czars put up some candidate his deposit will be forefeited. Mind you it has to be Bombay, dont go to Nandayal or Pilibheet, these areas are stii untouched by music and dances renaissance of the kind you specialise in.


Some ignorants have been shouting hoarse that your trip will jeopardise the Indian culture and values. Dont bother about them. They are kill joys. Ask Amit (Amitabh Bachchan ) how much dust and din they raised, when he planned a Beauty contest in Bangalore. He remained unfazed. Result-- beauty or no beauty every damsel now wants to contest. Those who have long past the age and statistics also want to emulate. Never heard os such a mass beautification campaign of India. Larger than pulse polio vaccination program.


Truth is, we Indians are stick in the mud. Feel miserable when told to enjoy. We can not relish pizza or fried chicken without feeling guilty about it. Dont you bother,by and by everything will be 'managed' and brought under 'control'. When tea was popularised by plantation owners these very Indians opposed it vehemently decreeing India was a country where rivers of milk and curd flowed, tea had no place. If people drank tea, they would fall sick,look at them now, sick take tea to get well soon and well offs dont move out of bed without taking one first in the morning. When you land here, we plan to make you Patron and President of half a dozen socities, trusts and foundations active in the field of protecting and preserving ancient Indian culture,Indian dances and values.


Once you decide to be politically active we can think of further reducing the age of franchise from present 18 years to 14 years.


My country is full of opportunities. Whereevr you put your dancing steps,wealth will kiss your feet. I know you dont need it anymore. But we need a dream to live by. More than half of my countrymen still live below poverty line. During famine parents barter their infants for rice. Politicians and bureaucrats together can gobble down animals fodder worth millions of rupees. Our Prime Minister faces bribery and corruption charges in a number of cases and goes round and round from one court to another.


come soon Mike !


LOVE U HAMESHA

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