Ravi ki duniya

Ravi ki duniya

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Do you recall what day it was on 8th June…no... No... Not Tuesday. Friday but what important Day was commemorated. Don’t know? My dear 8th June was Friendship Day and 1st July was Doctor’s Day. Aren’t you aware how much we have progressed? It is said the Hindu religion has 33 million deities. Therefore, there is no day without worship, fast or festival of one deity or the other. On similar lines each day of the year is proposed to be celebrated as some commercially correct Day. Market forces shall ensure this so that they survive and thrive. Now what’s the point in having three national holidays when we have international holidays being celebrated with greater fervor, fever and festivity? We Indians by temperament are quite accommodative and flexible some call it our weakness while a large section believes; it is cultural pluralism and feels pride in it. Look! The way we have adopted Valentine’s Day. It is simply a case of give and take. We have given yoga, neem, turmeric, Buddhism, osho to west and have taken Pizza, Pepsi and pornography. India hasn’t achieved greatness (has she?) overnight. No more solemn birthday of father of the nation instead let us just have Father’s Day…big bash in a five star hotel followed by ramp show and beauty pageant. Children’s Day what’s that? Have Disco Day instead. Rakhi ? Are you mad? Let’s have Sister’s Day. Sisters should be presented with expensive gifts and greeting cards and sis on their part should tie band preferably imported one on the wrist of brothers. India hasn’t walked into 21st century rather has zoomed in a swanky imported car with ‘brake fail’ It is feared that with this speed soon it may get into 23rd or 24th century leaving rest of the World behind in all walks of life be it corruption, terrorism ,inflation or simply the population.

Multinationals are working overtime how to get these bloody Indians to celebrate Husband’s Day instead of Karva chauth. No fast please. Fast can’t keep the Bazaar going. Wives and would- be wives shall not enter Kitchen on Husband’s Day .Nothing home cooked will be partaken on Husband’s Day that will be termed downright ‘heretic’. Instead, since it is a fast day, therefore. Whole family shall enjoy fast food in any multinational chain of eateries. Ladies not celebrating Husband’s Day will be quickly labeled as ‘Behan jis’ or scheming types…All India celebrations over-publicized in media will be organized. Events such as quiz, T.V game shows, fete, jam sessions will be the main attraction and where there are no rains, rain dances will be popularized.

I hereby cordially invite multinationals to introduce us 100 crore Indians to at least 100 such Days in first phase. In second phase another 100 such Days and in the final phase let all these 100 cores remember their nanny (granny ).

So to begin with we must have a Granny Day, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Grand Pa Day, Grand Ma Day, Uncle Day, aunty Day, Nephew Day, Niece Day, Daughter’s Day, Son’s Day, Step Father Day, Step Mother Day, Step Son Day… and so on. Don’t forget your old Ramu Kaka who has raised you since your childhood and how about Shanta bai? So lets have Servant’s day, Ayah Day, Secretary Day, Boss Day, Officer’s Day, Clerk’s Day, Union Day, Teacher’s Day can be appropriately spread over to make way for Nursery, Primary, Secondary and last but not the least an exclusive home tutor day.

Lawyer Day…Milkman Day, Postman Day…Bhajiwala Day… Ice cream wala Uncle Day, Neighbor’s Day. On Neighbor’s Day, neighbors will treat each other with Mexican, Thai or Haiti food. Costly gifts and costlier return gifts will be freely traded. Don’t be a stick in the mud. Nothing Indian please. Indian goods are as obsolete and funny as Red Indians in U.S. Now that year after year Indian beauties are being bestowed crown, title, tiara or whatever as Most Favored Nation, high time we celebrated Beauty Day, What a wonderful coincidence of one and all, no sooner multinationals entered Indian Bazaar, Indian beauties won the hearts, and hands down be it in the Sun City or Garden City. For next several years or till the bazaar of all the accessories is firmly entrenched, all the Beauty Queens will come from India. Please note. The band of ex Beauty Queens will act as Talent bank and Brand Ambassador to promote innumerable T.V. Channels and ads varying from cold drink to cold cream. Don’t be impatient, hold on we do have plans for a Beauty Parlor Day.

There will be whole lot of In-laws Days- Pa-In-law. Ma-in-law, sister -in-law, bro-in-law, otherwise in-laws will feel left out and in turn will make your life suitably miserable. Neither your spouse nor multinational mandarins will take to it kindly and if they don’t take to it kindly, I am not sure what may happen to you in these days of ‘Bhais and Suparis’ who knows you may be ‘found’ hanging from some NRI’ s giant wheel of suburban water fun park.

Gone are Holi, Diwali. d. Instead we are all set to celebrate Colors Day, Lights Day and Hug-each-other Day. In keeping pace with AIDS Day and Blood Donation Day we shall have Heart Day, Eyes Day Kidney Day and so on.

Readers are requested to send in more and more suggestions so that Mera Bharat Mahan gets to celebrate more and more number of Days ending its Night, after all Mera Bharat Mahan has been sleeping eversince1947.

A long slumber indeed.

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