MY INDIA GREAT? O YEAH!

U.S. Airliner boasts of 128 employees per aircraft, nowhere near to benchmark of 558 employees per aircraft in our desi national carrier. Surprised? Why! We are Maharajas. Americans are not .America may be superpowers but grossly short of manpower.We are flooded with men. We are hero number one in this field. We have core-competence in this area. Americans simply can not beat our stamina and fertility. Americans have almost everything automatic. We have army of caretakers to monitor, maintain and mismanage even the most hi-tech of machinery. For changing electric bulb we require no less than three men. One, a senior supervisor, two, the man who will actually perform, three, the guy carrying bagful of electric bulbs and the ladder.

The term ‘self-service’ is befitting to Americans only. It doesn’t

Augur well with our kind of temperament, culture and ethos. Not that we didn’t try. We tried self-service on the lines of American departmental stores in our Super Bazaar. We all know the consequences. Partly, Super Bazaar is also to be blamed for giving us the suggestive slogans such as  ‘Super Bazaar- Apna Bazaar ‘ We took it literally and see what happened. We hear, government is contemplating with the idea of privatizing it. Employees of Super Bazaar are obviously perturbed. They are against any such privatization for they have already done its personalization. On the same lines, as tourismwallas cried hoarse as to why privatization of tourism development corporation. What about their own development. Isn’t that too the responsibility of the state to develop ‘we the people of India..’ One of their flagship hotels, has the staff of five hundred and the guests- precious five. In other words hundred staffers per guest wow!  The going was never so luxurious for either of them. India truly has a long standing tradition of ATITHI DEVO BHAV – the guests are gods. Americans—the bagpeckers simply can not understand this, leave alone emulating it ever.

With one hundred thirty six brands of hair oils and shampoos and two hundred fifty six brands of toilet soaps already launched /in vogue in India the Ms. Universe and Ms. World can not help push anymore products in the market, hence, no more Ms. World from India.

MNCs very soon will monopolize air we breathe. They have already captured and bottled the water we drink. Imagine us buying bio-friendly green oxygen cylinders month after month. Neighbors would go around gleefully borrowing “got a spare cylinder?” I hear MNCs targeting the ever thirsty, is out to launch water satchels for the millions of slum-dwellers. Rupees one per satchel, the flow was never so smooth.

Children will blissfully carry yet another accessory besides the school bag and cell phone that is a cute, tiny oxygen cylinder. Whatever happened to the slogan of SWADESHI? Under the garb of swadeshi, we have hundreds of MNCs merchandising pen, pencil, shoes, undergarments, soaps, oils etc.

The day is not far off when they will enter the market of KULHARS, PATTALS, CHHAPPAR, fodder, and sugarcane juice and lastly the GUR making industry. People will boast “in so and so’s marriage tea was served in Swedish kullhars”  “In my daughter’s wedding I got pattals flown in from Japan”. “Our buffaloe takes only Made in Germany fodder”. First the India went through, Mandalisation, and then came Kamanadalisation and finally the Globalisation. Drink water, not of Ganges but of Volga, only hundred rupees per glass. Relish gur of UK not of UP and exclaim “Wow! How sweet!”