Thou Shall Not Play for Medal

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By now we have got used to the sight of our sports persons returning empty handed, Olympic after Olympic. They do not return all that empty handed. They bring kit bag full of imported goodies which they try to pass through green channel. This is called win-win situation. They return not in a team but individually, landing in wee hours.

            We can not blame our players for not winning any medals. How? I can explain. The fault dear readers, lie in our stars. Over the ages we have been made to believe and practice Karma theory, i.e. you do your Karma (deeds) and do not long for fruits (results). Therefore, O blessed one you do go to Olympics, who stops you? You do participate in Olympics, nothing stops you, but let medal not be your sole aim. Don't run after gold, silver these are all evil metals, blind the beholder with their dazzle and are root of all evils.   

            What is life? It is as fragile and short-lived as a soap bubble. Here today, gone tomorrow. Then why this running around. What are you jumping at and what are you pole vaulting for. Remove envy from your heart. Let your heart be cleansed of all the evil feelings of greed and competition. Instead let it be filled with love and compassion. The one whose heart is pure shall meet the Lord. Perceive it this way, how does it matter if you have not won. Brazil has won. Aren't they your brothers?

            The World is a big family and its foundations are  love and brotherhood. Vasudhev Kutumbakam (The earth is my family).

            There is a country by the name Slovakia. They too win several medals. Are we 'slower' than them. If you want to locate this spirited nation on the world map it would be as difficult as to locate numberless officials who accompany the Indian contingent to 'coordinate arrangements'.  The funny thing was when some players desired to meet their coordinators they were snubbed with the remarks that due to international terrorism coordinators', locations have been kept a closely guarded secret.

            Moreover, going strictly by the book, they are frequently moving. Here today,  shopping in some other neighboring country tomorrow. Day after, in bermuda shorts among the bikini clad tourists on the beach to avoid any suspicion.

            In this land of peace and non-violence we are pained and agonized deep down below when we are asked to go for the 'kill'. Medal or no medal but killing instinct no baba no. Look at wrestling, first our wrestlers have to grapple at home, to get their names included in contingent. I'm told wrestling with nepotism and red-tapism, our wrestlers had already lost their stamina.

            Keeping in view the size and civilization of our country, Olympic mandarins can be requested to expand and add variety to their MDS (Medal Distribution System). They can be suggested to devise Iron, Wood, Tin Leather Cardboard and paper medals - It is felt that if you are going across the seven seas, must come with some medals. Papa papa aye! Hamare liye kya laye? (Papa is back home what has he brought for us).

            History of hockey is history of India's rise and fall in sports arena, more fall than rise. I suggest like iron curtain countries India should keep off all the sports events for a decade or two. During this time India should concentrate its efforts, impart rigorous training and practice. After twenty years India can re-enter with a thundering bang. That is the time when one can hope to see India's name among the top few in the medal tally.

            How is it that our officials in the contingent out number the players. Is it due to some typographical error that a zero or two are added inadvertently. May be we still believe this princely state (of affairs) has not been abolished yet, so one can go on.

            India is a country living off basically on donations, grants-in-aid, loans, friendly gestures in the form of road-over bridges and city buses from the countries better off than us. Hence, there is a suggestion that countries who win dozens of medals can willingly donate few medals to us as grant in aid purely as a friendly and charitable gesture.

            In return we can give them yoga and Moksha.

            I hear cricket has been included in Olympics. Similarly, I appeal to Indian federation of Olympics to seriously take up the cause of including following events so that India can outshine others.

Rape:
Can be team events, solo, double, mixed double, whatever, but our team will surpass them all.

Murders:
Indoor as well as outdoor events can be organized. Blue line buses with trained drivers can do wonders.

Scams:
Need I say more. We are sure to win gold all the way in all the events be it sugar, fodder, urea, allotment of petrol pump, gas agency and Govt.quarters. Many countries will gives us ‘walk over’ acknowledging our supremacy.

Bribery:
Junior and senior events can be there (based on status, not age) with the underlying theme who can 'Eat More and Digest Faster'

Meter Manipulation :
Autorikshaws, taxi, electric and telephone meters can be included.

Adulteration:
Another game where world wonders at our skill and achievements. They can have any event, open challenge. However, we are sure to excel in the areas of petrol, milk, mustard oil, country liquor, pulses, spices, tea, ghee, etc.

            Similarly, other games can be thought of where we are on the firmer footing. I am confident India's glory can be restored. There can be such a down pour of gold medals that the day is not far off when India will again be known as Sone-Ki-Chiriya

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